Funny Olympic Quotes

Complements of Jessica:

With all the technological innovations in sport, can't anyone come up with a better solution for male gymnasts than stirrup pants?

I can't tell whether the male gymnasts are wearing too much product or not enough.

Cute bit about Chinese gymnast Yang Wei proposing to his Chinese gymnast girlfriend. Hopefully not one of the suspected 14-year-olds.

Chinese gymnastics coach said he'd jump off tallest building in Beijing if team didn't win. I don't think you want to stick that landing.

The good thing about winning for the Chinese women's gymnasts is that they get to see their parents. For the first time.

When Bela Karolyi is done "speaking" I have to wipe down my television screen.

Hope this Chinese girl sticks the landing, or she will be thrown down the well.

"Alicia was attacking the beam." And she was quietly taken from the arena.

Wait, so in synchronized diving, if one of you messes up, is it better for your partner to nail the dive, or to mess it up in the same way?

If that Chinese gymnast (Zou Kai) is 20 years old, then I'm 200.

May and Walsh cavort in bikinis as announcers discuss at great length how they met their husbands. Female athletes have come so far.

Three cheers for Putin--now we won't have to see Bush at the pool tonight.

What happened to Bush's elbow? Did he hurt himself patting Misty May's rear?