The Horrible Fall...

Paul and I were walking to the field at Orem Elementary to watch my nephew, Talon’s, football game. Stockton was holding his tiny folding chair, Paul holding both of ours and I was carrying Carson (in new shoes, which I have thrown away). Suddenly I find myself tripping over those damn shoes and unable to steady myself I went DOWN with my sweet, unsuspecting child. EVERY time I relive that moment, which has been nigh unto a million times, my stomach drops because it feels like it has been torn away from me.

All I really remember is looking up to see Carson on the pavement. Paul picked up my sweet son off of the ground and found a bleeding mouth and massive bump on his head, already turning blue. Carson began to dry heave as if trying to vomit, while screaming out of control. We might as well have been blindsided by a car because in a mere moment Caron and I were down. Why couldn't I have miraculously steadied myself?

I left Stockton with my mom and sister and we sped right to the ER. I sat back with Carson trying to calm him. I had to cover my face as I sobbed. I couldn't shake the horror of what had happened and listening to Carson wail in that tone only known to someone who has been greatly hurt--was absolutely terrifying.

We did not wait long for attention at the ER. The doctor looked him over and said that if his bump gets bigger they will need to sedate him and have a CT scan to check for brain damage or a skull fracture. The mention of brain damage and skull fracture caused me to nearly have a seizure because I serve with people who are brain injured; and I’ve seen many become intellectually disabled over less of a fall. Since the cons out weigh the pros we didn’t get a CT scan. We were discharged after Carson received some pain meds, and we were given a list of signs to look for within the next 24 hours.

Carson did eventually perk up and was acting his normal self. I am hopeful that Carson will recover and that his energy is a sign of his good health.

I am still fighting the persistence of my memory to relive that moment. I have guilt but I am also tremendously grateful for blessings during heart ache.